A Father's Dream

My day started by receiving a very powerful text message from a loving and concerned customer which says, "Each day is full of reasons to praise and thank God.  Even when life seems void of comfort and joy. When our cups are empty, God fills them up.Real happiness comes not on achieving big things but enjoying God's simple blessings in life."  She then ended up the message with a "Happy Father's Day" greetings.

I once was also a teacher ma'am, and even before I became a father, I could already feel the happiness of being responsible to my students' future.  My dream for them was very simple, "To see them achieve their own dreams!"  Today, most of them are already positioned well in the offices where they work. Finance Manager, Chief Accountant, CPA-Lawyer, Region-wide Distributor of a very popular brand, Vice President for a Makati-based Banking institution, Finance consultants to foreign-based firms, to name a few.  I am proud to mention this because they have already achieved their own dreams - my own dream for them!

My secret? being too strict when they were under me.

People would think that I am spoiling my 7-year old son.  They are wrong.  The secret that I applied to my students will be more severely applied to my own blood.  More so, because I want him to be a better person, able to build up a life through justice, honesty and perseverance.  Just like my students, my dream is to see him achieve his own dreams.

 
A reminder is always given to him that "To succeed, you must not only think about yourself but for those people who are in need. Don't think of giving them food, but on how you can help them get their own food. Think of giving them job or work where they can earn for their living.  That way, you will be forced to create work or job for them. That way, you will be forced to be successful yourself!"

God has given us people whom we can be responsible to.  Everything has been set before us.  We only have to recognize that fact.  Although He has also allowed some people to be stumbling blocks for us, we have to be aware and be ready to confront situations that may occur from this.  Always rely on God, be close to Him!

My dream is for my son to become a God-trusting person.  A person with an open mind and heart.  Fearless but not ruthless.  Successful but never boastful.  One who earns through honest means and contented with what is provided to him.

Fear not, kid!  Never will you be in want!


  

Spare the rod

Disciplining children is quite a challenge today than 20 years ago. Is this the fault of the changing society or of the parents themselves?

The fast changing society

As we enter into the advance computer age, where everything is becoming virtual now, and so perhaps is parenting. From infancy to early childhood, children have been monitored by their nannies or nannies and children by the parents through the remote camera/monitor system. This way, children learn to be independent at an early stage. These computer age children learn to do things by their own without the direct supervision of their parents.  They tend to pattern their attitudes and behavior through what they see from the TV monitors, Videos, iPods, Laptops, and even smartphones that are being used to get their attention while their nannies or parents are busy doing something else.  We are now in a society of remote controls.

Our education system has also changed!  The direct handing over of the second parents' power to the teacher has long vanished into the thin air.  The human rights laws have inculcated fears into the minds of the mentors that if they put a hand on their pupils or students, grave consequences may stand along their professional careers' way.  One mistake on their part, even if their intention is for the child's own sake, may cause job loss via a tedious, painful and a costly legal process.  And, because of this fear, teachers have long become disciples of robotic mentoring sharing their knowledge uncaring whether they have been applied in and out of school.  

The Modern Parents   

We (parents) ourselves are products of this fast changing society where we live in.  The upbringing that we have experienced will surely be handed over to our own children.  For some, it is the right and perfect way of rearing a child.  Some of us will become teachers and will help in the bringing up of other parents' children. Upbringing in ways that they believe are right.  Rods are spared, children go and do things as they wish.  Hence, disciplining now has become the obligation of the local authorities.  Bullying, drug dependencies, pre-marital sex, have already become common problems among our tots in the society.  Our local authorities have become busy these days creating, revising and re-creating laws to solve or at least minimize these reoccurring problems.  The rod that was spared by the parents and the second parents- the teachers has already been transferred to the hands of the local police.  The biggest problem is that, these local police and authorities are also products of a modern system in this advance computer age.  Oftentimes ignorant of the law that they try to execute, they too are sometimes fearful of the consequences that they may face in the course of implementing the necessary discipline to our little citizens.  Most of the time, they too would spare the rod that has been handed over to them.

In the end, we have this question: "Should we continue sparing the rod and ultimately spoil the good things our ancestors have started? Or should we put some controls that will put a limit to everything?"  Parenting is indeed a continued learning and a big challenge for each one of us.